Month / January 2020

by Brwngirl

Let that Sh*t Go!

credited to IG: @FlorenceGiven

” If I find here and now unacceptable, I have three choices:

  1. Accept it
  2. Change it
  3. Remove thyself from the situation

That is taking responsibility for your life. ” – Eckhart Tolle

Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. I know I’m probably getting a lot of bizarre stares from that comment but it’s true. That is one of Buddha most famous messages that was left behind. A lot of the time we hold other people responsible for our pain. Negative emotions such as anger, jealousy ,hate ,possessiveness, resentment, anxiety and envy are not looked at as negative emotions but are completely justified . Instead of looking at them as self-created we blame these emotions on external factors. Forgetting our own power in the process.

Our thoughts co-create our reality and there is a conscious choice to think of something as either bad or good. When you make the conscious effort to place yourself in a negative situation you’re choosing suffering. For example, if it’s cloudy day and you begin to dread the day based on the weather then you have a negative emotional response without realizing the weather has done nothing to you but exist. Your lack of acceptance is what’s creating these dreadful emotions. We have to be aware of our own thoughts and the reality that we are creating in response to them.

Instead of replaying the past in our head and constantly remembering the constant “bad” situations that happened throughout the day. You can accept that they happened. You can allow yourself to freely feel those emotions in the moment and then release them. When we are constantly trying to find a reason why someone / something happened to us we are creating inner resistance to the truth and our reality. We are replaying that scenario over and over and creating bigger turmoil internally. When we accept it as is , we can also accept the emotions that follow. You have the power to create happiness and pleasure around you through your actions and thoughts.

We must make the conscious effort to constantly choose peace in our lives. We must accept it and then make efforts to change it whether that’s mentally or physically. You are responsible for your own happiness. Make sure you’re putting yourself first even when you’re battling your own thoughts.

by Brwngirl

Saying No Is Healthy!

You have a full day planned ahead packed with productivity. You’re on your way to study and finish up some work when you receive a call from a close friend who needs your advice. Then you go back to your work when a friend runs into you and begs you to go out with them to a social outing. Fearing to say no, you pack up your stuff with 0 work done and start to get ready. The night out was fun but now you wake up with loads of stress and the same to-do list from yesterday. This is your routine.

You wake up frustrated that you did not prioritize yourself in that moment and instead changed your focus to someone/something else to please someone else. You blame them for asking. This is when reflection is important to start embarking on new habits.

It’s time to say NO!

Saying no can be scary at times. The idea that “no” may ruin relationships or foundations that have been put in place crosses many people’s mind. The reality is if people truly love you they will also respect your boundaries. Saying no is important for your physical , mental , and emotional wellbeing. It’s hard to regenerate yourself when you’re constantly being drained from being there for everybody but yourself!

When you start saying no , you start saying yes to yourself. No establishes healthy boundaries in your relationships. Boundaries are your personal limits and they protect you from feeling unsafe. When you set boundaries all your relationships will improve for the better. All healthy relationships have boundaries and you deserve to feel safe in all of your relationships.

Boundaries allow you to create balance as well. They allow you to stay consistent with your personal goals and be committed to your needs first. Saying no is a reflection of a healthy person who knows there limits and someone who has a vision and goals in mind.

by Brwngirl

WT* IS SELF-CARE?

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Face masks, water, working out and Netflix?? These are the popular ideas circulating around the idea of self-care. Recently, taking care of yourself has been a powerful force that has a voice on every platform. The idea of working yourself to DEATH is not intriguing to millennials . The value of putting your health first before your responsibilities is a passionate movement in 2020. So, what exactly is self- care and how do you practice it on a daily basis for a balanced mental , emotional and physical life.

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  1. Observe + Explore Your Feelings

Before you can start practicing self- care you have to understand your own needs. Tracking your emotions and triggers throughout the week can help you understand what is causing you so much stress. Sometimes we easily write off our feelings as just “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” , but when we examine these feelings we notice that this is not the first time they’ve appear or the last. Here are some questions to ask yourself to understand your feelings:

  • I feel challenged when ______. I feel supported when ______.
  • I have been paying a lot of attention to ________. I would like to pay more attention to ________; I can devote more energy to the better-feeling alternatives by ______ .
  • What is your first response to stress?

2. Time Management + Consistency

It takes two weeks for you to start feeling better, it takes 4 weeks for you to notice changes and it takes 8 weeks for others to notice. This is how long it takes to form a new habit. For self-care to positively change your life you have to practice taking care of yourself on a daily basis. Having intentions with every action throughout the day makes them purposeful and contribute to the life you dream of. Managing your time and incorporating relaxation into your day will help you show up as your best self everyday.

3. Be Nice to YOURSELF!

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Did you compliment yourself this morning? Are you congratulating yourself through your progress? It’s important that when you introduce new habits into your life, you are your own cheerleader. If your best friend wouldn’t say it to you why would you say it to yourself? Actively motivating yourself is a harder habit to obtain than you think but it is the driving force behind consistency . Start by writing down positive affirmations about yourself and repeating them throughout the day. Here are some examples:

  • I am and will always be enough.
  • I am a powerful creator. I create the life I want.
  • As I take on new challenges, I feel calm, focused and confident.